make your own wormhole time machine.

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 22:38:34 GMT

you know what i love about life. that i can irrationally dislike whomever i want. and will. and enjoy it very, very much.

uh oh.

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 18:26:04 GMT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4817848.stm

taking one from the comics.

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 18:51:51 GMT

He had spent one night crying hour after hour because he wanted to masturbate. He wanted to masturbate to her taking the key away, unlocking the door and then returning the key to him more than anything else in this world. Finally, he was exhausted from crying but he didn't masturbate. He had to stop no matter how much it hurt him because it would be the end of him. Once during his crying he had a vision of what his tombstone would look like if he didn't stop masturbating to the touch of her hand, the remembered taking and returning of a key:

An American Humorist
1934-2009
Rest in Peace
He's Not Jacking Off Anymore.

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 03:07:52 GMT

i was to young and naive then to link up the meaning of those shoes ridiculingly defunct shoes that i was forced to wear with the reality that we were on Welfare and Welfare was nto designed to provide a child with any pride in it's existence.

let's go to sleep.

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 13:16:23 GMT

If you can't eat you got to

smoke and we aint got
nothing to smoke:come on kid

let's go to sleep
if you can't smoke you got to

Sing and we aint got

nothing to sing;come on kid
let's go to sleep

if you can't sing you got to
die and we aint got

Nothing to die,come on kid

let's go to sleep
if you can't die you got to

dream and we aint got
nothing to dream(come on kid

Let's go to sleep)

it's time to stop drinking. that, or dink some more.

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 11:30:43 GMT

Part 5 of Trout Fishing in America

WORSEWICK

Worsewick Hot Springs was nothing fancy. Somebody put some

boards across the creek. That was it.

The boards dammed up the creek enough to form a huge

bathtub there, and the creek flowed over the top of the boards,

invited like a postcard to the ocean a thousand miles away.

As I said Worsewick was nothing fancy, not like the

places where the swells go. There were no buildings around.

We saw an old shoe lying by the tub.

The hot springs came down off a hill and where they flowed

there was a bright orange scum through the sagebrush. The

hot springs flowed into the creek right there at the tub and

that' s where it was nice.

We parked our car on the dirt road and went down and took

off our clothes, then we took off the baby's clothes, and the

deerflies had at us until we got into the water, and then they

stopped.

There was a green slime growing around the edges of the

tub and there were dozens of dead fish floating in our bath.

Their bodies had been turned white by death, like frost on

iron doors. Their eyes were large and stiff.

The fish had made the mistake of going down the creek too

far and ending up in hot water, singing, "When you lose your

money, learn to lose."

We played and relaxed in the water. The green slime and

the dead fish played and relaxed with us and flowed out over

us and entwined themselves about us.

Splashing around in that hot water with my woman, I began

to get ideas, as they say. After a while I placed my body in

such a position in the water that the baby could not see my

hard-on.

I did this by going deeper and deeper in the water, like a

dinosaur, and letting the green slime and dead fish cover me

over.

My woman took the baby out of the water and gave her a

bottle and put her back in the car. The baby was tired. It was

really time for her to take a nap.

My woman took a blanket out of the car and covered up the

windows that faced the hot springs. She put the blanket ontop

of the car and then lay rocks on the blanket to hold it in place.

I remember her standing there by the car.

Then she came back to the water, and the deerflies were

at her, and then it was my turn. After a while she said, "I

don't have my diaphragm with me and besides it wouldn't

work in the water, anyway. I think it's a good idea if you

don't come inside me. What do you think?"

I thought this over and said all right. I didn't want any

more kids for a long time. The green slime and dead fish

were all about our bodies.

I remember a dead fish floated under her neck. I waited

for it to come up on the other side, and it came up on the

other side.

Worsewick was nothing fancy.

Then I came, and just cleared her in a split secondlike

an airplane in the movies, pulling out of a nosedive and sail-

ing over the roof of a school.

My sperm came out into the water, unaccustomed to the

light, and instantly it became a misty, stringy kind of thing

and swirled out like a falling star, and I saw a dead fishcome

forward and float into my sperm, bending it in the middle.

His eyes were stiff like iron.

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 02:31:10 GMT

sexy sexy man.

sexy sexy son.

sexy son not as sexy as sexy dad.

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 07:05:04 GMT

time to burrow into the tundra.

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 19:35:41 GMT

pizza shuttle fucked up.

ahahahahah

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 05:26:05 GMT

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 22:25:09 GMT

The next morning I got up early and ate my breakfast. I took a slice of white bread to use for bait. I planned on making doughballs from the soft center of the bread and putting them on my vaudevilliean hook.
I left the place and walked down to the different street corner. How beautiful the field looked and the creek that came pouring down in a waterfall off the hill.
But as I got closer to the creek I could see that something was wrong. The creek did not act right. There was a strangeness to it. There was a thing about its motion that was wrong. Finally I got close enough to see what the trouble was.
The waterfall was just a flight of white wooden stairs leading up to a house in the trees.
I stood there for a long time, looking up and looking down, following the stairs with my eyes, having trouble believing.
Then I knocked on my creek and heard the sound of wood.
I ended up by being my own trout and eating the slice of bread myself.
The reply of Trout Fishing In America:
There was nothing I could do. I couldn't change a flight of stairs into a creek. The boy walked back to where he came from. The same thing once happened to me. I remember mistaking on old woman for a trout stream in Vermont, and I had to beg her pardon.
"Excuse me," I said. "I thought you were a trout stream."
"I'm not," she said.

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 10:02:58 GMT

you wear it then blackie.

Sat, 28 May 2005 06:17:04 GMT

a friend ship!!

BF4L!!

uh. i'm home.

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 22:26:51 GMT

i'm home & the caller id is packed with a gillion cell phone numbers i vaguely recognize. britta is a popular girl. i have no idea where she is and seeing all these foreign digits has me remembering i haven't got many friends. anyhow. i saw some mountain goats in colorado. probably the best part of my trip. even tho it was across an interstate. it was so great tho. they played and hid behind trees. i wanted to caress them, but you know how it goes. i saw some sheep, elk, llamas, other farm animals. they paled in comparison obviously.

!!!!!!

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 19:53:22 GMT

my brother sent me a belated birthday message from thailand! it's so sweet! qwmodi my day is made.

look! it's me!

Fri, 11 Feb 2005 05:06:45 GMT

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 04:22:47 GMT

i have to wear an eye patch for at least four hours everyday.

update:

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 05:56:01 GMT

i'm bitter.

fruity.

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 01:57:57 GMT

Your love is... by ChibiMarronchan
Your name is...
Your kiss is...	breath taking
Your hugs are...	friendly
Your eyes...	burn into my heart
Your touch is...	the only thing I desire
Your smell is...	amazing
Your smile is...	amazing
Your love is...	everlasting

Quiz created with MemeGen!

four in the morning is never a positive time. minus in math equations.

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 09:50:14 GMT

Don't worry, I won't hurt you
I only want you to have some fun

I was dreaming when I wrote this
Forgive me if it goes astray
But when I woke up this morning
Coulda sworn it was judgment day
The sky was all purple,
there were people running everywhere
Tryin to run from the destruction,
You know I didn't even care

'Cuz they say two thousand zero zero party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999

I was dreaming when I wrote this
So sue me if I go to fast
But life is just a party, and parties weren't meant to last
War is all around us, my mind says prepare to fight
So if I gotta die I'm gonna listen to my body tonight

Yeah, they say two thousand zero zero party over,
oops out of time
So tonight I'm gonna party like it's 1999
Yeah

Lemme tell you something
If you didn't come to party,
don't bother knocking on my door
I got a lion in my pocket,
and baby he's ready to roar
Yeah, everybody's got a bomb,
we could all die any day
But before I'll let that happen,
I'll dance my life away

Mommy--why does everybody have a bomb?
Mommy--why does everybody have a bomb?

I remember when it was two thousand's eve. christ. half the decade is over. i'm not okay with this.

"one of the earth’s monstrosities."

Sat, 25 Dec 2004 00:29:14 GMT

In the 1920s, Ciro Terranova "Whitey" (1889-1938), a member of the mafia and known as
the "Artichoke King," began his monopoly of the artichoke market by purchasing all
the produce shipped to New York from California at $6 a crate. He created a produce
company and resold the artichokes at 30 to 40 percent profit. Not only did he
terrorize distributors and produce merchants, he even launched an attack on the
artichoke fields from Montara to Pescadero, hacking down the plants with machetes in
the dead of night. These "artichoke wars" led the Mayor or New York, Fiorello La
Guardia, to declare "the sale, display, and possession" of artichokes in New York
illegal. Mayor La Guardia publicly admitted that he himself loved the vegetable and
after only one week he lifted the ban.

also,
According to an Aegean legend and praised in song by the poet Quintus Horatius Flaccus, the first artichoke was a lovely young girl who lived on the island of Zinari. The god, Zeus was visiting his brother Poseidon one day when, as he emerged from the sea, he spied a beautiful young mortal woman. She did not seem frightened by the presence of a god, and Zeus seized the opportunity to seduce her. He was so pleased with the girl, who's name was Cynara, that he decided to make her a goddess, so that she could be nearer to his home on Olympia. Cynara agreed to the promotion, and Zeus anticipated the trysts to come,whenever his wife Hera was away. However, Cynara soon missed her mother and grew homesick. She snuck back to the world of mortals for a brief visit. After she returned, Zeus discovered this un-goddess-like behavior. Enraged, he hurled her back to earth and transformed her into the plant we know as
the artichoke.

Wed, 22 Dec 2004 04:10:43 GMT

i'm not feeling very good about life right now.

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 10:23:48 GMT

.....................FOOL!

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 07:40:05 GMT

Happy Birthday Sweet Thing.

Mon, 13 Dec 2004 04:53:56 GMT

i'd just like everyone to keep in mind that just because National Hand Washing Awareness Week has come to an end doesn't mean you should forget about the four principles of hand awareness. Please guys, try to keep sanitary.

and just to remind you all what could be on your hands..

For more information you can visit http://www.henrythehand.com/default.html

Stay clean!! <3 covay. (remember: it benefits everybody!)